Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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