I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
