I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
