I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
