U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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