it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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