dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
