In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so that wasnt chicken after all
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
