I didn't shave. On purpose
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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