Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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