I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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