also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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