I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
