so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
