Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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