would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
