My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
