I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
