I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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