Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
