SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
