can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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