her vagine was all disorganized.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
