I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
