Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I need to calm my uterus...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
