The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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