i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
