Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
