I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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