Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize