Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
