I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
