eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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