If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
