cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
this hospital has no fireball
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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