But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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