when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
