I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
