My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
