I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
