I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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