you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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