Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize