end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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