No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
