What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
