Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
