Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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