That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
