someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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