Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
