I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
