Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
