Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
