it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
