I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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