Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
