Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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