normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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