I hate your face
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
