did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We got so high we made milksteak
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
