I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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