just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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