So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
