why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
