So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize