Sry I called you an 8
Do you still have your period?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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