I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude i'm inner monologue high
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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